Having a baby in India

           
                By now most of you have heard the good news that our little boy John Emmanuel has finally made his arrival!  He decided to arrive on Valentines Day of all days, which seemed so fitting as we are totally in love with our little man!  I wanted to share our experience of having a baby here in India from start to finish to show some of the similarities and differences between here and America.  I also wanted to share the testimony of God's grace and faithfulness to us throughout this entire experience; from John's conception to his arrival.  There are a lot of things that I want to put down into words, more so that I can look back some day and remember the hand of God in each aspect.
              Lets start from the very beginning.  Many of you know that we struggled with infertility and a couple of miscarriages in between Molly and John.  After having 2 miscarriages in less than a year, we looked to fertility treatments to try and get pregnant.  Luckily after our first fertility treatment we were able to conceive through IUI (intra-uterine insemination).  Most people like to keep quiet about their struggles with infertility, but I decided that for me it was easier to be open with our struggle.  By doing this I was able to receive so much support from many friends and family throughout this difficult process.  If any of you have gone through infertility you know what an emotional rollercoaster it can be.  In June of 2013 we found out we were pregnant.  I tried not to get my hopes up as I knew there was no guarantee of maintaining the pregnancy, but at 6 weeks pregnant we had an ultrasound and it showed a beating heart!  It was such a relief to see that beating heart for the first time.  At 9 weeks we got another quick glance at our little munchkin and again it showed signs of growth and progress.  The pregnancy continued without complications and I felt many of the pregnancy symptoms that most women feel.  We were so grateful to God for this wonderful gift!

                                         6 weeks                                         9 weeks

20 weeks

                Then out of the blue, we received a wonderful text message from a close friend of ours in Kansas City.   This friend has spoken and prayed many words of encouragement into our lives over the years and is very prophetically gifted.  I was 13 weeks pregnant and we had not shared with him yet that we were pregnant.  He asked us if we were pregnant, because God had shared with him some information about our baby.  Kris replied that yes we were pregnant and we would love to hear what God had been speaking to him about our baby.  God told our friend that we were having a boy and that his heavenly name was John Emmanuel.  He encouraged Kris to look up the meaning of those names to see what God was saying to us about our baby through those names.  So Kris looked up the meaning of the names:  John means "God is gracious" or "God's favor," and Emmanuel means "God with us."  From that point on I just knew that God had a special plan for this child.  It touched my heart that God could love us so much to share these very specific details about our child.  My faith grew in that very moment and it brought me to tears.  From then on whenever I referred to the baby I called him John.  At our 20 week ultrasound, again we received such encouragement.  The baby was healthy; every system and organ was developing as it should.  Of course the ultrasound confirmed what we already knew; we were having a baby boy!  Praise God!!  We could not have been happier.
            We had moved to India by the time I was 25 weeks pregnant.  Many people thought we were crazy to move to India while pregnant, but God assured me over and over that he would work out all the details of John's birth.  I cannot honestly say that I never doubted God or questioned him.  I still question God about why John would be born here.  I may never know the reason until I get to heaven, but I do believe that God has a purpose and a reason to him being born in India.  Hopefully he will reveal that reason to me in this lifetime.
             We faced many challenges and struggles in choosing a doctor and hospital.  In America I was under the care of a midwife and I was hoping to find a good midwife once in India.  I soon discovered that midwives do not exist or practice in this region.  They have many nurses that are called midwives, but they are simply just nurses that have had a lot of experience in helping to deliver babies.  They are not trained or certified by the standards that we would expect in America.  I also found out that a home birth was not possible due to this fact and is also illegal within the city limits.
           This left me with no other option but to have the baby with an OBGYN physician in a hospital.  Most of you would think, isn't that what most women do?  Yes, in America this is a very great option for having a baby.  Here in India, most of the doctors think they are God and do not listen to what the patient wants.  I heard horror story after horror story about how the doctors have treated women during their labor and delivery.  They won't allow you to move around during your labor, and they only come at the end for the delivery.  They also push for inductions and c-sections; both of which I was very opposed to unless in an emergency.  So far, I was not impressed with this information.
           Second of all, most hospitals do not allow the husband in the delivery room.  This was not something I had thought was still practiced, but apparently most couples would prefer it this way.  I of course was insistent that Kris be present for my entire labor and delivery.  That narrowed down quite a few of the hospitals in our area.
            The third challenge was finding a hospital close enough to our apartment that could be reached with enough time through rush hour traffic.  Bangalore is a city of 9 million people and rush hour is a nightmare when you get caught up in it.  My labor with Molly was only 6 hours, and I figured with this baby it could be a bit quicker, so I wanted to find a place fairly close to our apartment.
            Thankfully Jude and Roopa put us in touch with a wonderful lady named Tina.  She is a doula, and is one of only 2 doula's in the entire country.  We met with her and hired her to help with our labor, and also to act as an advocate for a natural delivery in the hospital.  She recommended Dr. Geeta Vinekar at Ideal Nursing Home to be our OBGYN.  (A Nursing Home is a small hospital/clinic where patients can receive treatment).  Unfortunately Dr. Geeta developed Dengue fever so I was unable to meet with her until I was 36 weeks pregnant.  We really liked Dr. Geeta once we met her, but I was unimpressed with her facility/nursing home.  The place was very old and looked as if nothing had been updated for 50 years.   But she was a proponent of natural labor and assured me that she would not consider induction or a c-section unless absolutely necessary.  She also would allow Kris to be present for the entire labor and delivery.  After praying about it we decided that we would choose a good doctor over a nice facility.  I figured if Jesus could be born in a barn, then John could be born at this old nursing home.

Dr. Geeta (our OBGYN)

Tina (our doula) with John

            The last thing I want to share is John's birth story.  Every mom has a birth story for each of their children.  All birth stories are unique and John's is especially unique considering the circumstances.  (Feel free to skip this portion if you are grossed out or uninterested in labor stories...this warning is for men mostly).  On Thursday Feb. 13 I started having contractions.  They were quite irregular and not extremely painful.  I had these sort of contractions when I was pregnant with Molly for nearly 3 days before I finally went into real labor, so I didn't really take them too seriously.  Then at midnight I started to have more painful contractions.  I had 3 really painful ones that were about 15 minutes apart.  So I decided to get up and move around.  Then they immediately went to 3 min apart.  Thats when I knew I was going into labor.  So we started packing our bags and making phone calls to have Molly taken care of.  We called our doula and headed for the hospital.  Thank goodness it was in the middle of the night so that we didn't have to deal with the traffic.  Oh, but the ride to the hospital was absolutely miserable.  Roads here are full of potholes and speed bumps...you get the picture.  It was almost unbearable.  Molly was in the back seat just chattering away about how excited she was to finally get to meet her little brother.  At the time I was really annoyed, but now I look back and think her excitement was so sweet. By the time we got to the hospital it was 1:45am.  The doctor checked me and said I was 4cm dilated, which nearly devastated me because I felt like I just had to be at least 7cm.  But 15min after that she said I was a full 10 cm dilated.  By 2:30 am he was born.  The labor was fast and furious...extremely intense.  He weighed 6.6lbs and was 20.5in long.  He was absolutely perfect!  I can honestly say that I fell in love from the very moment I laid my eyes on him.  Molly decided to stay up for the delivery and was able to meet her brother soon after.  It was so amazing to see our family literally grow from 3 members to 4.
               After about 1 hr in the labor room I was moved to a postpartum room.  They asked if I wanted to take a wheelchair or walk because it was up 1 flight of stairs.  I said I would take the wheelchair, but they were unable to locate one, so up the stairs I walked.  I also had to bring all of my own towels, sheets, blankets, toilet paper, etc.  (You learn in India to always carry a roll of toilet paper with you...most bathrooms do not have it).  The nursing care was also much different than in America.  Once we reached the postpartum room Kris quickly became my nurse.  The nurses didn't come to our room to check on us until about 9am.  The entire time I was there I never had one set of vitals taken on me, but they did check my weight before I left.  We also didn't know John's height/weight until the child specialist came the next morning.  He was checked over and deemed to be a healthy, normal baby.

              By 1:30pm I was allowed to go home.  I couldn't get out of there fast enough...all I wanted to do was go home and shower!  (There was no shower in my room, just a spigot and a bucket...oh and the water heater didn't work either).   Before we could check out we had to pay our bill and replace the items that they used for me in the labor room.  Kris had to go to the pharmacy and replace 3 items that they used: gauze, gloves, and a cotton roll.  To replace those items it cost us $6.  Since we do not have insurance we had to pay cash for my 12 hr stay.  It cost around $575.  We also had to pay for the child specialist consult which was about $12.  So all in all, I would say we got by for a pretty good price, but considering the facility itself, I'm glad we didn't have to pay any more.  Then we were on our way home and I held my new baby the entire way! (Carseats are totally optional in India, plus we don't have one yet).  I wanted to share all of these specific details to point out the differences between a normal delivery in America, verses the Indian delivery that I chose.

Our postpartum room

Heading home

            Now looking back at the entire story I can see the hand of God in each aspect.  God truly answered every single one of my prayers for John.  He has been so faithful to us and for this I am extremely grateful.  Our faith has definitely grown through this entire process as we have had to trust in God for so many things that were out of our control.  After about 1 week, John is doing all the things a normal, healthy baby should do...he is eating, pooping, and sleeping well.  We thank all of you that have prayed for us and through this entire process.  We are so grateful to God for our little miracle baby!!  We ask for continued prayers as we adjust to having a newborn again and transition into our family of 4.